Issue #27 — The Day You Stop Just Communicating and Start Influencing

👋 Let me take you back to a moment that still makes me cringe…

Early in my PM career, I worked on a project where executives kept asking for “clearer updates.”

And I thought I was being clear.

I was sending detailed emails.
I was giving thorough weekly reports.
I was summarizing every risk and dependency.

I genuinely believed that if I just “communicated more,” everything would improve.

But then, during one weekly steering committee meeting, I laid out what I thought was a perfectly structured update: timelines, blockers, next steps, everything.

I finished speaking…

…and the VP looked at me and said:

“Joey, what are you actually telling us here?”

My stomach dropped.

That was the moment I realized something painful and obvious:

I wasn’t influencing anything. I was just talking.

🎯 The Hard Truth: Communicating ≠ Influencing

Here’s where most PMs get stuck:

We equate activity with impact.
Volume with clarity.
Information with leadership.

But executives don’t want information, they have too much of that already.

They want:

🧭 Direction
🧠 Insight
⚖️ Trade-offs
🎯 Recommendations
🔍 Implications
💬 Confidence

In other words…

They want influence, not updates.

Most PMs communicate to inform.
Leaders communicate to influence decisions.

Those are two completely different skill sets.

🔥 The Communication Gap That Silently Holds PMs Back

If you've ever felt ignored, misunderstood, or dismissed in a meeting, here’s the uncomfortable truth:

It wasn’t the content.
It was the delivery.

Because here’s what I learned the hard way:

People don’t react to your information. They react to the meaning you give it.

Most PMs send:

– Too much detail
– Not enough relevance
– No framing
– No clear ask

No wonder stakeholders glance at your update and move on.

Influence isn’t about being the loudest voice in the room.
It’s about being the voice that brings clarity when everyone else brings noise.

🧩 My Turning Point (The Update That Changed Everything)

After that painful VP moment, I went back to my desk and pulled up my email drafts.

I realized they were:

❌ Too long
❌ Filled with jargon
❌ Missing a point of view
❌ Written like a status dump, not a leadership message

So I rewrote everything using the simplest structure I could think of:

1. Clear: one sentence that sets direction

2. Concise: three bullets that matter

3. Compelling: why this matters today

This became the foundation of what I later formalized in From Project Manager to Project Leader as the 3C Model.

And here’s what surprised me the most:

The next week, those same executives praised the update.
They responded faster.
They engaged in decisions instead of asking for explanations.

It wasn’t luck.
It was clarity.

I had crossed the line from communicating → influencing.

🛠️ Why PMs Struggle to Influence (Even When They’re Smart)

PMs often communicate with the best intentions:

✔️ “I want to be thorough.”
✔️ “I want to avoid surprises.”
✔️ “I want stakeholders to see all the details.”

But here’s the unintended impact:

❌ You overwhelm people
❌ Your message gets buried
❌ You appear uncertain or unfocused
❌ You lose authority

Influence requires discipline.
It requires choosing what not to say.
It requires confidence in your voice.

Most PMs don’t lack information,
they lack the courage to speak in leadership language.

🧠 The Leadership Language Shift (C.E.A. + 3C in Action)

In From Project Manager to Project Leader, I talk a lot about how communication becomes leadership the moment you stop broadcasting and start framing.

That’s where the C.E.A. Framework comes in:

Communicate → Engage → Align

Paired with the 3C Model:

Clear → Concise → Compelling

Together, they transform messages into influence.

Here’s what that looks like in practice:

→ CLEAR

Instead of:
“The vendor approval is delayed due to pending documentation…”
Say:
“Approval is late. Go-live is now at risk.”

→ CONCISE

Instead of three paragraphs…
Say:
– Cause: vendor backlog
– Impact: +2-week delay
– Ask: decision on scope or date

→ COMPELLING

Add why it matters now:
“A decision today avoids a month-long ripple effect.”

Executives respond to clarity, not volume.

🎤 A Story of Transformation (Sophia’s Shift)

In the book, I share stories about PMs who grow into leaders, and Sophia is one of my favorite examples.

She started out communicating like most PMs, lots of updates, very little influence.

But when she began framing her updates around impact, trade-offs, and decisions, everything changed:

Stakeholders leaned in.
Executives asked her opinion.
Teams felt guided.

She didn’t suddenly become more experienced.
She simply became more clear.

Her leadership presence grew because her communication changed.

💬 A Quick Test: Are You Communicating or Influencing?

Answer honestly:

🔎 Do people ask you clarifying questions or decision questions?
🔎 Do meetings end with alignment or more confusion?
🔎 Do stakeholders act on your updates or ignore them?
🔎 Do you bring recommendations or just report status?

The difference between a PM and a leader shows up in the words they choose.

📌 A Challenge for This Week

In your next update, try this:

1 sentence: “Here’s what you need to know.”
3 bullets: Impact, decision needed, next step
1 line: Why this matters today

It will feel almost too simple.
But clarity feels simple for a reason,
because it works.

⭐ The Bottom Line

Most PMs communicate to inform.
Leaders communicate to influence.

Your power is not in how much you say,
it’s in how clearly you say it.

Influence comes from:

✔️ Clarity
✔️ Courage
✔️ Confidence

You don’t need a title to speak with authority.
You don’t need permission to lead the room.

The day you stop just communicating…
is the day people start listening
and following.